It started last winter with Trump’s Oval Office improv gathering with everyone fighting and shouting. That was cool. Got great ratings.
So the CVS I go to near UCLA agreed to have open writers workshops now. There’s standing room only. No one says they can’t go because they don’t feel well. Pharmacists have many stories to tell and are okay about slipping you some extra daytime Aleve—or the new muscle rub ointments, if you say you’ll have them read early. We’re into this now, you pick a number out of a hat; that’s your place in tonight’s reading—okay, call it a show. This is L.A. after all.
It’s always safe. Parking is possible, not guaranteed, possible is as good as it gets. They provide flu shots, pain meds if you’ve been sitting too long and your back hurts. There’s no end to the options. The woman in charge played the Wicked Witch in the Beverly Hills library version of Wizard of Oz. CVS ordered the green makeup.
West Hollywood is now doing songs at Bristol Farms. It’s said Streisand has booked for Valentine’s Day. You can do the workshop creative thing and get your meds, and snacks and kind bars at the same time. You have the fun and danger, the suspense of live contact. And never fear, they have Wi-Fi! You can bring your service cell phone so it doesn’t have to stay home alone.
It’s huge! Really! Everything you need in true life. And in case you forgot to bring your words, there is the “storage aisle” where paragraphs, lines, phrases, words, and stories have been Googled into easy-grab files you can make your own. Change names, dates, ID’s, who’s to know the difference? Medicine does not cover the use of paper, so “books” are only available to licensed readers and writers (unfortunately, licenses are banned in Blue states).
We expect a record turnout in the Beverly Hills High School football team locker room rally planned for next Fourth of July. (To celebrate the deluxe redo of the much maligned locker room, CVS has nailed the deal for toiletries and towels) Five robot dance groups will present their innovative routines. You’ll love it. The Don Quixote Symphony has been booked. Lawrence Vittes will cover the show.
Entertainment rules. Merchandise is medicine. Why go through the depressing silence of medical centers without calling UBER for every stop when you can have it all? Santa Monica Hospital is providing inhalers and injections by attractive Fox News nursing interns who will also give you the latest reports on Mueller’s Research Headquarters down field from Anderson Cooper’s sleek glass Apple News forum where avatars of Anderson will provide you with news stories you want to hear; or you can suggest a news story. Press the button and Anderson will deliver it with the wry reassurance you’ve come to love.
Writers, you can find everything you need for storytelling. Grab it at CVS. No need to panic. Easy as clicking on CNN and you not only have the story, but the place to tell it and the live listeners here to cheer you on. Not to mention the ratings chart, high on the football field. Tell that story! Watch your ratings rise.